


It Shouldn’t Have Happened

by Iwouldwrite1000fics



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Jim, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 05:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19167043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwouldwrite1000fics/pseuds/Iwouldwrite1000fics
Summary: Jim is attacked on shore leave, and he knows that when Spock finds out what happened he'll leave him.





	It Shouldn’t Have Happened

**Author's Note:**

> My twist on the old Jim was accused of cheating when he didn't trope.

“In two days I’m going to have the happiest crew in space. Sorry you can’t join us, Spock.” 

“My definition of rest and yours, Jim, are quite different. I’m sure I shall not miss this excursion, and New Vulcan needs me.”

Jim nodded he knew it was necessary he just hated that he wouldn’t be able to contact Spock for three weeks. It was some mandatory Vulcan thing. He reached out to Spock his two fingers extended. Spock responded, and they held that kiss for a long time. 

“That has to last almost a month you know.”

“21.5 days, Jim, we will be all right.”

Spock looked at him one last time and beamed to the surface.

*** 

Shore leave arrived and Jim made sure he had done everything right. He checked out the habits of the planet’s natives to make sure he didn’t make any gestures that could be taken as flirting or a marriage proposal. He made sure to go out to the local bars in a group, and he had watched his drink the entire time.

When some perfumed substance someone sprayed into the air made him feel dizzy and some random stranger grabbed him roughly by the shoulders to ‘help him’ he knew to mention that his friends knew he was here and would come and find him. When the stranger told him that it wouldn’t take that long and began pulling him to a secluded room in the back Jim made sure to struggle hard, causing the person’s hands to press harder into his arms pining Jim close to him. Jim was even coherent enough to give a firm no as he was shoved down onto a bed.

So, when he woke up the next morning, lips bruised and clothing put back on wrong. Limping ever so slightly as he stumbled out into the bright sunlight, memories slowly coming back in a horrifying haze, and finding Bones and Uhura glaring at him impatiently he found himself repeating over and over again, “it shouldn’t have happened.”

***

“Only you could manage to ruin something as simple as shore leave drinking like that, Jim!”

“You’re one to talk, Bones, you drink!”

“Yeah and even I managed not to cheat on Jocelyn while doing it! And I hated her at the end! You loved Spock, Jim, how could you!?”

“It didn’t happen like that I swear!”

“Oh, of course you weren’t in your right mind. You probably don’t even know her name and it doesn’t count,” McCoy responded sarcastically as he took the last of the readings, filed them away, and then did his best not to throw his former best friend out the door as he released him sickbay. 

Jim did his best to tell himself exactly that. That it doesn’t count. There was no penetration. He had kissed and been kissed by people when no feelings existed between them. The perpetrator had never even taken off their clothes. It didn’t stop the nightmares. It didn’t stop Jim from feeling dirty and used, and it didn’t stop on off-colour joke thrown at him in the mess hall one day from sending him running to the bathroom to vomit in revulsion for half an hour.

He didn’t cheat, but he was damaged goods now, so Spock deserved someone better. This was the one thing the crew and he agreed on as they made no secret of the fact that they would tell Spock what had happened, or at least what they all assumed had happened, the moment he returned.

For Jim it was like the time he took control of the Enterprise by emotionally compromising Spock. Spock had held him over the console slowly choking the life out of him and everyone just stood by and watched. It was worse now though, because they were supposed to be able to trust him now and yet they had judged him based on actions that he had performed years ago, namely acting like a playboy. What hurt even more though, was knowing that this time there wasn’t going to be any heartfelt apologies from anyone. So, Jim did his best to prepare for the inevitable, while maintaining the air of Captain James T. Kirk. As long as he was on this ship he was still a captain and captains couldn’t afford to let their personal life interfere with their job. Just because, somehow, that night he had screwed up and allowed that to happen didn’t mean he could just let his silver lady fall into chaos.

Two weeks later the Enterprise was ordered to return to the planet, not for shore leave, but to deliver medical supplies to a specific region. The delivery was made to a city thousands of miles away from the one where the incident had occurred. Jim and his crew were able to complete the mission professionally despite the obviously strained personal relationships. He was every bit the consummate professional that Starfleet expected of all its personnel. 

When he got back to his ship Jim started sleeping with the lights on.

***

On the day Spock returned he couldn’t bring himself to go meet him as he beamed up and take the inevitable break-up in public. If he was going to lose the best thing he ever had he wanted to breakdown in private. Jim spent the whole day in their quarters, soon to be just his quarters. The room had always seemed so small before, especially when they were getting ready for the day’s work. Now, with Spock’s things carefully packed together on the desk, the room felt big and empty. So, Jim just sat on the bed curled up with his head on his knees and waited. 

***

Spock had proven himself to very efficient in aiding the continuing Vulcan reconstruction efforts. So much so that he had been asked to extend his leave, but he declined, for personal reasons he said. He caught his elder self’s eye at that statement and he had nodded knowingly and helped Spock prepare to leave. Spock’s thoughts had indeed been on Jim during any idle time he had found in the last three weeks. The link had been some what muted by the distance between them, but from what he could gather Jim seemed greatly upset, depressive even, almost from the moment he had left. This concerned Spock greatly and he wished to see his t’hy’la as soon as possible, but for some reason he was not there to greet him when he appeared on the transporter pad.

“Where is Jim?”

“Spock, there’s something you should know. There was an incident during shore leave two days after you left.”

“Is he all right, was he injured?”

“He injured you, Spock, he cheated.”

“I beg your pardon?”

Uhura stepped forward. “He came back from a bar smelling like alcohol and sex, mumbling over and over that it shouldn’t have happened. Damn right it shouldn’t and I can’t believe that jackass is just going on like nothing happened.” 

Spock couldn’t believe what his crew members were telling him. There had been no noted problems in their relationship when he left. There was no need for Jim to wander. A drunken mistake then surly, and if the melancholy he had been feeling through the link was caused from that then Jim already felt great remorse for his conduct. The relationship could clearly be salvaged. Quickly Spock made his way to their quarters, ignoring the shouts from several crew members that he ‘give him hell’ when he got there.

Spock went inside and found his t’hy’la looking completely miserable on the bed.

“Jim.”

Jim couldn’t even bring himself to look at Spock as he spoke. “The cabin on deck B is available for you. I made sure all your shirts were folded the way you like them. If you don’t want to work with me on the same ship I understand. I’ve been looking into a transfer. I can be out of your life forever in two months if you-if you…” Jim trailed off as he felt the bed sink down as Spock sat down on it.

Spock reached over, running his hand lightly over Jim’s head. He gently pushed his chin up so Spock could see him properly, and then did what no one else in the last three weeks had done. 

“Explain.”

Jim looked in his eyes to see not a single trace of condemnation there, just a true desire to understand. Overwhelmed by this Jim threw himself at Spock, burying his face in his shirt as the whole affair came out in one big rushed sobbing mess. 

“Oh, Jim, I am so sorry.”

“What the hell do you have to sorry for?! I’m the one who caused all this!”

“No, Jim, you did not. The one who took advantage of you is responsible for this and I am sorry because you needed me and I could not be there to help you.” 

“I don’t even know why I’m like this,” he said, wiping his eyes and nose on the sleeve of his shirt, “it wasn’t rape, it shouldn’t hurt.”

Spock pulled his lover close to him again.

“You were violated against your will therefore it should hurt and denying that it does is illogical and unproductive. You must notify the proper authorities, Jim, they will no doubt go on to hurt others.”

“I can’t. It’s been three weeks that bastard will be long gone by now. Besides they won’t accept my testimony, and I don’t think McCoy kept any DNA from the…” 

“Then we shall discover their identity through other means and if the authorities can do nothing I shall dispense justice myself.” 

***

Half the crew didn’t have the decency to keep their jaws from hanging open as they watched Jim and Spock head for the transporter room, their hands clasped firmly together.

“Mr. Scott, we are beaming to the surface. We will make contact again in two hours.”

“Aye, sir.” 

They were able to track down the ambassador quickly. Spock Prime melded with Jim and was easily able to get a clear picture of the attack. Afterwards he gripped the back of a chair so hard the wood cracked, and vowed that there would not be enough pieces left of the criminal to send to trial. 

All three of them then went back to the Enterprise to get Jim’s medical record.

“What do you need that for, Spock?”

“The events are more complicated then you initially described them to be, doctor. The authorities must become involved. Everything was documented I trust.”

McCoy nodded and pulled out the proper file, and finally looked at the results properly. Saliva and semen located on the genital region, blood alcohol level low, but mixed with a substance designed to mimic it and its side effects, bruising on the upper arms. The markings consistent with…the PADD clattered against his desk as McCoy dropped it.

“Jim.”

Jim just curled up in the chair on the other side of the desk his arms hugged close to his body.

“Jim, I don’t-I’m…”

“We’ll…we’ll work on it, okay, Bones?” 

***

Jim’s eyes flew open and he lay frozen on his bed, his heart racing, breathing hard. Just another nightmare. He was on his ship, he quickly told himself, he was safe; that monster had been arrested. They were never going to hurt anyone again. Jim sat up and watched the shadows shift on the wall as Spock woke up as well. They had managed to get the lights dimmed to forty percent now.

“May I touch you?”

He nodded. 

Spock gently curled his arms around Jim, pressing his chest firmly against his back.

“It can be forgotten you know.”

“No, it’s something that stays with us. It makes us who we are. I don’t want my pain taken away. I need my pain.”

“You also need sleep, Jim. Come I will help you.”

Spock gently moved him so he could see his face and Jim slowly let himself relax against his partner. He was safe here, and needed, and, most importantly, he was loved.

The End


End file.
